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Fitting In? Or Left Out?

A Pop Culture Way of Explaining My Duality

· Sophomore Year

Why fit in when you were meant to stand out? - Dr. Seuss

Since starting college well into my forties I have discovered that I have some duality going on. There are two people living inside my body. No, not like the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde way, but a a foot-in-each-camp kind of way. One foot is the student where I get to dress down a bit (not too much however, for more on that see ) engage in more casual conversation, and relate to other students in a more peer sense. The other is the student worker version of myself where I dress professionally, act professionally, and serve as more than just a peer on most occasions.

I am Divergent.

I get along well with the instructors who are, to be fair often closer to my age, and the student population because my mental age can sometimes be well below my chronological one. I feel as though at any moment I might be asked to perform the ritual of choosing my one true faction. But I don't feel like I belong to any one group and one false move? Boom, I am factionless and roaming the halls without friends, identity, or the right color clothing to wear...Can you tell I have a teenage daughter? I have been indoctrinated into the worlds of The Hunger Games, Divergent, Harry Potter ...and yes, sadly even Twilight. Sorry, Bram Stoker and Ann Rice, I know not what I do.

But I digress.

Fitting in is a huge part of what the college experience is about. Not necessarily with everyone and everything, but it's about finding that tribe that you just "get" and they "get" you. I don't seem to have that luxury. I have acquaintances, mentors, and fast food (quick and easy) friends each semester before moving on.

It sounds sadder than it really is I promise.

I count myself as lucky because I have found people to connect with all over the place even if it is only for a little while. I made some great connections in both factions, several districts, and see no reason that I have to choose. We all wear different hats at different times in our times and right now for me I am doffing and donning two hats regularly.  

But for the record, I would definitely be Erudite, Ravenclaw and live in District 7 (I like trees).

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